What did five years do to me? In a sense nothing much. Still a HT cap 1, haha…. still in nganh thieu. And in the other sense, everything. I’m five years older, which feels like fifty sometimes these days. And I’ve changed, I see things differently. Like everything, when you are brand new to things, you have so much energy and think that you can change the world for every kid. Five years later, I realized I no longer have that energy level nor can I change the world for any kid. That realization comes from a more humbled approach that I am not Jesus and I can only act as John the Baptist to point my kids to Jesus who is the only one that can change anyone’s world.
As I work with kids in TN setting and in other settings, I become more aware that teenagers need relationships. Our ministry to work with the youth should be focused on relationships not the programs or activities. Granted that those things are important, they should be the external parts that lead to the core relationship, God. God is a relationship, of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. For our kids to see that, many times we are required to be more pastoral. Sometimes our kids come from torn and broken families. Alcohol, drugs and violence become the gods they are used to. That’s the way they see love. In those times, as HTs we are called to live out our lives in a way that those who don’t know God will come to know God because they know us.
I think each of us is called to evangelize in different ways according to our gifts and talents. One of the main attractions that make me love camping is that there’s usually always a fire. For some reason, I always enjoy just looking at it and sitting next to the heat. It’s something about the flames that put me to awe every time. In a book that I’ve read, “The Godbearing Life,” it gives a great image of a log in a fire as being compressed sunshine finding its way out. The tree spent its whole life absorbing the sun and once it is lit up, it gives back. To me, that’s the image of youth ministry. We are the logs absorbing the sunshine day in and day out waiting to be consumed and exhausted in the fire. Working with youth for me puts my heart ablaze. I think I learn as much from my kids as they learned from me. But the image is really not complete unless you add another element into it, air. The fire only continues to burn if there is oxygen. As TNTT, we believe that comes from Jesus breathing the Spirit into us. It may feel depleting and empty sometimes, but every year we managed to come back, to do it one more time.
I honestly don’t know how I keep on coming back every year. If I had to give an answer, I would have to echo Mary’s words, “Here I am, the servant of the Lord. Let it be done unto me according to your word.” Mary, a prominent figure in Scriptures and what seems as an improbable choice, was chosen and called by God to become the mother of God. In her womb, she bore Jesus. And so, we are called to be Godbearers like her. With all the chaos that teenagers have to face today, from the virtual world to sex to belonging, as HTs we have an overwhelming and complicated playing field. Lots of times we too are starved for spiritual nourishment that we feel hypocritical to teach anything. It is then essential that we have to live an authentic life because kids are keen in spotting our scrawny faith. We must present to them a God of truth and wholeness, that can withstand the idols and false gods like drugs, alcohol, consumerism and self-harm. From my experience, the kids don’t expect us to be perfect. They expect us to be genuine, to be caring, to be loving, and to be Godbearers. They don’t need more programs and activities. They need more God. May our hearts burn always without being consumed, and may we follow Mary’s yes and bear with her the fruit of her womb.
