DAY 4: CONNECT #40acts

Not until I graduated college and moved to Chicago, I didn’t realize how important it was to connect.  Because my family, friends and the usual surroundings that I’m used to are so far away from me, I take fewer things for granted.  I enjoy reconnecting with people every time I come back to Seattle.  The constant coming and going does take a toll on me sometimes because people’s lives are constantly moving and changing.  When I finally finish catching up, I have to leave so the endless cycle seems to circulate itself when I come back again.  I guess partly it’s the life that I have chosen.  Like any vocations, along with the many joys, there are sacrifices.  I miss a lot of life events of those that I care about.  I’m not there as often so I don’t know the inside jokes.  But it’s easy to look at the glass as half empty and forget the bottom half sometimes.

The theme for today is connecting.  We in the United States do a bad job at this.  It is unusual for a person to initiate a conversation with someone sitting on a bus or train on their way to work because we are loyal in keeping our urban solitude commandment.  Thanks to technological advances, physical distance doesn’t mean much anymore because our neighbors can be physical close to us for years and we still aren’t as close to them in relationship as we are to someone who is thousands of miles away.  I envy other cultures that are more communal when I travel outside the U.S.  Sometimes I yearn to be acknowledged, to say “hi” to and being asked “how are you?”  I love hugs and smiles, it brighten my day. 

I say this because I wish I knew all of these things ten years ago.  It was about ten years ago that my family lived next door to an Irish-American family.  They had four daughters, one in particular had pretty blue eyes.  I can still remember and visualize even today holding her because she was probably 5 or 6 at the time. And just like that, 10 years later, I recently found out that she took her own life at a mere age of 16.  Thinking back, I regret not keeping in touch and reconnecting when we moved out that neighborhood.  I really wish I did because maybe I could have changed her mind, or at least be there to tell her in her last moments of life how much I loved her.  Maybe that would change something, or at least made her feel that she's not alone.

Of course life is full of “could have’s” and “should have’s” but the past can be looked at as a precious gift in itself.  I will always have that image of me holding her in my arms.  What gives me hope is that I know at this moment, she is in arms that are more tender than mine, more loving, and more gentle.  However, consoling as that may be, it doesn’t fully take the pain away.  When someone we care about dies, it leaves a scar in our heart.  This is especially agonizing when the death is from suicide.  But in the end, if we truly believe our God is one who is loving, compassionate, and understanding, we can rest assured that through God’s infinite mercy, my beautiful blue-eyed girl will be embraced by arms far gentler than mine running to hold her.       

DAY 3: BLESSINGS #40acts

The theme for the third day is “Tool Up” which I interpreted it as blessings because all my experiences, skills, faith, resources, intelligence, passions and networks are really God’s gifts for me.  I am supposed to list them and bless someone with one of them for today.  Since many of you know my head is very inflatable at times so I’ll spare you from being too conceited and talking about myself for ten pages.  I’ll just be brief and list three.

1. My family, friends and community… there is just no way I am who I am today without their love, support and care.  In this mix are also the students I have taught and my beloved kids, who aren’t kids anymore. 

2. My passion… ever since I was a child, I wanted to be a missionary.  I wanted to be an instrument of God’s peace.  My passion is why I am doing what I am doing today.  The meaning of my life is to recognize my gifts and talents, the purpose of my life to give them all away.  My vocation is to be a prophet of love, servant of reconciliation and visionary of hope. 

3. My bed… I spend a third of my life on it, I can’t live without it.  It’s my favorite place to pray and reflect.  It’s where I do a lot of my reading and writing.  Some of my favorite poetry pieces I write were born from my bed.

My utmost piece of all has to be the “Butterfly Poem.”  Every time I share it with people it always make them smile.  Hope it can do the same for you.

THE BUTTERFLY POEM

Look it's butter,

No, it's a fly.

NO! It's a butterfly!

 

DAY 2: GENEROSITY #40acts

I’m supposed to get a jar today to put spare change in.  I thought I would promote Operation Rice Bowl instead since our family participates in that every year.  I have yet to go and grab one so I put a generic picture.  If you’re looking for charities to give to this Lent, I would highly suggest Catholic Relief Service (http://crs.org/), Compassion (http://www.compassion.com/) and Kiva (http://www.kiva.org/).  CRS is one of those best charities I know and the people there and the work they do are amazing.

It always makes me feel guilty when I’m approached by a panhandler and I have to say no to them.  This is partly because I doubt their authenticity of really being in need or that they are just trying to feed their addictions.  Of course not all panhandlers are dishonest.  In fact, most of the panhandlers I actually encountered seem genuine.  But there’s something about not wanting to feel cheated or used that refrain me from giving out so often.  The whole point of this is really not about “me”.  When we give, we are being in solidarity with our sisters and brothers who are less fortunate than us.  The Catholic Social Teachings call us to have preferential option for the poor and imitate the love of Christ through others.  This does not mean we have to give to every person we see that asks us for money.  No, that is rather absurd because there will always be poor people.  But as Christians, we are called to be charitable, with our money, our time, and our love.  Sometimes people just want our undivided attention to talk to so we give them our full presence.  Generosity is love expressed outward in a smile, a hug or a prayer.  Even Jesus did not heal everyone.  We recognize our limitations as human beings and give in ways our vocations lead us.  That can be giving out money, volunteering in a food pantry, visiting the elderly, cleaning dishes for our family, or simply loving ourselves more.  To love, one has to know what love is by loving ourselves (BUT NOT TOO MUCH!).

Do Lent Generously, #40acts

For the next 40 days, I thought I would challenge myself and commit to doing Lent generously.  When I first saw this http://www.40acts.org.uk/the-challenge/, I thought how wonderful it would be to give back, do good and live generously.  But 40 days is a long time, so pray for me to make it to at least day 7, so I can make up an excuse that I have completed it since 7 is biblically a number of completion. 

Day 1: GRATITUDE

For the first day I’m supposed to create a journal and begin a gratitude list.  I keep an electronic journal so I took a picture of my computer and a listography book that I adore. 

Gratitude is nonetheless the essence of our faith.  Eucharist means thanksgiving.  But often times, it is still hard for me to thank people.  This isn’t because I am not grateful and am not able to express my gratitude, it is because I have the tendency to ask for help only as the last resort.  I want to prove to myself that I am not dependent on anyone and can handle things by myself most of the time.  Therefore, a “thank you” means I am no longer in control because I am not self-sufficient. 

But thank goodness there are people in my life that are able to smack the arrogance and pride out of me sometimes.  The kind and generous people that humble me, the holy people that inspire me, and the whole-hearted people that love me.  They remind me what it truly means to live a Eucharistic life, to always praise God and give thanks to the abundance of God’s goodness.  The Lord gives and the Lord… gives some more.  Blessed be the name of the Lord!

And how blessed am I for having awesome people that donated bibles for my confirmation class.  They arrived today and I am genuinely thankful for your generosity.  This is the fruits of your kindness, not pictured below are ten little Mother Teresa prayer booklets for Lent that are coming (I had extra money left for this so our God is not a “God-of-just-enough” but a “God-of-more-than-enough”!).  I was also gifted this crown of thorns from the Bethlehem area.  I’m truly grateful and thankful for your support in spreading the Joy of the Gospel.  My prayers are with you during this holy season.         

 

They say 'giving is better than receiving' so I always choose the lesser of the two and give other people a chance to do the better.  The small sacrifices I make on a daily basis :)  Have a blessed Lent everyone!